It's almost 1:00 am at night and I decided to write this post and kind of explain what was happening to me and this blog for almost 6 months. Probably, this time on a Friday night isn't the best to write all of this, but maybe I will just say everything I have to say.
When I started this blog, my aim was to have a place where I can express my opinions, relax and do something that makes me happy. At the beginning it was just like I imagined. I wasn't focusing on the fact that someone might read this or not (I still don't know if someone reads this blog, especially now after so much time). Anyway, I really enjoyed it at first, but then as I started to have troubles with finding what to write about or simply had the pressure that I have to post every Sunday. That took my happiness of having this blog away from me. I started to miss some Sundays, not only because of that but also I was in my senior year doing IB Diploma Program, which maybe some of you are familiar with is not the easiest thing to do. I had more studying and more work to do especially after Christmas Break, as I had 4 months till my final exams. Now I have passed them all, which is such a relief as I don't think I would be able to do it again. These two factors really made it almost impossible for me to continue this blog. Also, I'm a perfectionist and if I didn't have motivation or the photos for the posts weren't satisfying me, I just felt guilty and didn't really feel like posting.
Now, as I have graduated high school and I'm most probably going to university I realised how life changes when you have long holidays and you don't have any pressure to study or do any work for school. You lose contact with all of your school friends, which sometimes is good but not always. You realise that all of the troubles connected with school, friends are disappearing. I have no idea what will I do in the future, there is nothing that really interests me. You know my life is far from perfect, but some aspects are. I'm ahead of something that really scares me and that is not only university. But for now I'm trying to avoid these thoughts and concentrate on all of the positives. I'm lucky that I have amazing people around me and maybe there is not many of them but still I have them in the worst times. Maybe this is totally out of context but I just wanted to tell you that things do change and you should do whatever it takes to make you life as amazing as possible. Ending school is one of the best feelings you will experience and I'm so happy I'm done with all of that.
Coming back to this blog, like I said I wanted to share a bit of me with whoever wanted to know something. It wasn't easy for me to make this blog and to let my friends and generally people from my environment to know, as I was scared of the response, but I realized that it really doesn't matter what they think. I loved it and now I really don't care what people will say or think about this.
If there are some people that actually missed me and this blog, I'm coming back and I hope to find that happiness again. I don't want to do or post something that I'm not happy about, that's why I'm not giving myself a schedule that I will post every Sunday or everyday. I'll post when I will feel like it. I do promise to try to post at least once a week, I hope. It just won't be a strict date. Also, I want to change the blog not only visually, but also the things that I will post here. Maybe some of you have seen that the background is different and the header is made, I'm not fully happy with it but I don't have the skills to make an amazing one, that I'll just fall in love with. I want you to know that I'm planning on posting some things more personal, my thoughts on something or my experiences. Of course fashion and beauty will be present, but also it will be a combination of personal and lifestyle/design things. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that I loved and still love to write. I used to write a lot, now I don't anymore and I miss it a little bit. That's why I want to, from time to time, post something that I write from my heart. There are still some posts that are drafts and maybe some of them I'll post, just because I want to have them in one place, but probably some of them are not true anymore.
I have changed as a person a little bit and I want to make this blog like I have always wanted to, so that I can be happy with what I post. Sorry for all of the rambling, but I just really wanted to say everything that was on my mind. I'm happy to be back and I'll do everything to make this blog interesting and find my happy place again. I hope you understand and enjoy it.